I promise...

I enjoyed this poem; in all of its simplicity and the lovely message you put across here, you have done this well. The feelings of wanting to help a loved one in a painful situation are clear and I felt the emotions you intended (in particular, with Cleanse our sins / Lose our scars and We'll get away, / Someday). Strangely enough the rhyme scheme you have used did in fact sounds more lyrical than like free verse; I imagined it as a song, or perhaps a sonnet. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

The rhythm wasn't perfect as a poem, however, and is perhaps something you need to work on. I would recommend working with syllable counts on lines, as in places such as the last two lines on the second and third stanza, and the last line on the fifth, the pace was off a little due to changing lengths of lines and I tripped. Obviously this has an impact on the flow of the piece as a whole. I also found a couple of parts a little cliché and feel you could have given the reader credit of intelligence by experimenting with metaphors rather than being very straightforward. For example, writing about the 'haunting' of 'ghosts' to describe one's past being an issue.

Other than this, your poem has a lot of potential and you are a very good writer. I hope I have been of some help; I know I can be quite the grammar nazi, however, so please disregard my thoughts if you don't agree. Keep up the good work and I look forward to hearing your thoughts. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="Aww"/>