I'm addicted to you.
This fantasy would perhaps
Exist more easily,
And bear less on my aching mind,
Were it you were not so un-faulty.
I cannot stop myself
Casting a glance,
With eyes unrevealing,
Your sought presence in a dream
On a sweet, cool night.
I blame myself.
Wrong and cruel, it seems.
One can put themselves in such vulnerability,
With their heart in my hands,
Cherished so little,
While I long for the embrace
And loveless torment of another.
As long as I may be permitted
To gaze into a face so gorgeous.
Crush my heart,
Of my current prize.
Then, at least,
My heart would not suffer
The anguish caused by you.
Might an apathetic relation
Be preferred over one
Where I might endure such indifference?
Were you capable of caring,
Would you earnestly tolerate my agonizing? -
Would you passively watch my detached interactions,
My counterfeits of love?
Would you succumb to that notion
Wherein I might be perfect for you?
Only I could be so delusional.
Perturbed and demented by this love sick.